Mob Squad: Episode 4 scriptEditThe Baby Cow is in the cave. The others are watching over him.
Cooper: Hi there little sweetie. Hi there little sweetie it'll be ok.
Phil: Cooper do you have to keep that thing in here?
Cooper: His parents were killed! What do you want me to do?
Marcus: And he's cute.
Phil: I understand that, I-I would feel bad if he died, but here's the thing: It smells like shit in here.
Lyle: Yeah it does smell like shit...And piss, don't forget piss.
Cooper: Smells like an abandoned child.
Phil: Yeah well I just stepped in abandoned child shit, okay, and I'm tired of it, we need to put him outside.
Cooper: He ain't gonna bother anybody, he's just gonna lay down there in his own filth. He'll be fine
Lyle sees Steve destroying leaves and heading towards the cave.
Lyle: Hey w-w-wha. Hey guys wait a second, the monster's coming. Everyone hide!
Phil:Get back! Get back!
Everyone rushes behind a wall.
Phil; Shut up, shut up.
Steve comes in.
Marcus:(Makes a gargling hacking noise.)
Marcus: There's something in my throat.
Cooper: Stop, don't worry about it.
Cooper, Phil and Lyle: Stop!
Cooper: Oh god be quite.
Marcus: I can't help it.
Cameron teleports to them.
Cameron: Well hey there everybody.
Cooper: What!? Shh!
Marcus: Cameron we are being quite.
Phil: Shh. Start being quite. Don't tell him.
Cameron: We're bing quiet... why are we doing that?
Phil: OH GOD!
Cameron: Oh there look who it is! Well why don't we go talk to him. Why's everyone here being rude? Being a bad host?
Cooper: He kills everything he sees,why would we go and talk to him?
Marcus: What is he doing?
Steve drops a Crafting Table next to the cave wall.
Cooper: What the hell... what did he just put... he put something in our house.
Cameron: You know what it is? I bet it's a present.
Phil: Oh yeah I'm sure that's... that's why he's here. To give us a present.
Lyle: A present of death.
Phil: Maybe the same present he gave to Kirby?
Cameron: Too soon, Phil.
Steve plops down a chest next to the crafting table and opens it.
Cooper: He put something else down. What is that?
Steve starts mining coal blocks directly behind the crafting table and chest.
Phil: No. No this is our home! He's coming into our home, putting shit into our home! That's not right!
Cooper: Calm down Phil.
Lyle: Keep your voice down.
Phil: No, no, I'm not gonna calm down. This is bullshit! I'm gonna put a Goddamn arrow betwen his eyes.
Phil walks out from behind the wall.
Phil: This shit ends today!
Phil runs toward Steve and fires an arrow, hitting Steve. Steve fights back with a stone sword. The others rush out.
Cooper: You leave him alone!
Steve runs backward toward the cave entrance.
Lyle: You better get out of here!
Cameron: Stay there. Wish we'd known you was coming we'd have cleaned up a little bit.
Cooper: Leave, motherf*cker! Get out of here!
Steve runs out of cave.
Cooper: Yeah we did it! We scared him away.
Lyle: We scared him away.
Marcus: Whoo whoo whoo.
Cooper: He can't kill my baby.
Phil: Did you see what just happened? We... ran his ass... outta here!
Lyle: Yeah we did.
Phil: We got this. We're gonna own this motherf*cker!
Cooper: (standing in front of crafting table) Yeah but... but guys... What are these things he left here?
Camera centers in on chest and crafting table.
END OF EPISODE.